I love superheroes. I think anybody who knows me even in the slightest will attest to that. And anybody who loves superheroes has no doubt tried to create one of their own. When I was younger, I was certainly no different. My elementary school math papers were filled with stories detailing the exploits of heroes such as...
The Muscle was your generic musclebound hero. I remember I had one comic where the muscle proved how inifinitely bad ass he was by beating up Stone Cold Steve Austin, who was big in like... 1996. That should tell you how old I was when I was making these.
Who was always the most popular amongst my friends. I have no idea why. I don't even remember doing anything all that great with him.
JetBot is, in my opinion the coolest of my heroes. But no amount of guns can hide the fact that I tried to make it look like a jet was protruding from his back but made it look like it was in between his legs. You know how Michael Bay had robots with scrotums in Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen? WELL I DID IT FIRST!!!!
You think I'm joking. Well I'm not. I probably made more Toilet Man stuff than any other hero. I have no excuse.
But you want to know what all those heroes have in common?
THEY ALL SUCK COMPARED TO THE ONE I'M ABOUT TO UNVEIL!!!!
You see, I made all of those heroes when I had only a vague understanding of superhero comics. I was young and foolish! Now I know oh so much better, and have been using my newfound knowledge to create a classic hero for our times... And I think I have one.
The American Train Engine. The Iron Horse. Once rails united a the budding nation, a symbol of industrial strength and the spirit America (and the Chinese guys who got roped into working on them.) But in recent years the train has fallen in stature, an old fashioned and archaic symbol of the past. However there are people who still ride the rails.
Engineer Douglas Thomas was one such person. An engineer from a long line of engineers, Thomas rode the rails until one day... While piloting an old steam engine for an exhibition (I have done no research and am making this up as I go along) there was a horrible accident. Thomas' legs were severed from his body but due to magical coal (just go with it) Thomas actually fused with his engine to become the Steam Engine of Justice...
Isn't he awesome? Half-Man, Half train ALL INCREDIBLE BAD ASS ACTION! Man Train is by far the most deep and thoughtful hero I've ever created. He's not just Arnold Schwarzenegger with a train instead of legs, but a commentary on the past and a testament to our American heritage! I just might try and sell some publishers on the Man Train concept. I could see him becoming a hero on par with Captain America and Uncle Sam in terms of reflecting American society. There is truly some potential for great story telling here.
At least there was until I found this: